Can Therapy Help With Self-Doubt?

Self-doubt is a common problem for many. It may come up in work (i.e. imposter syndrome), relationships (constantly needing reassurance) or it may come up in all areas of your life, and lead to constant worry, self-judgment, and perfectionism. Read more to find out how therapy can help people who often doubt themselves.

What is Self-Doubt?

Self-doubt is a lack of confidence in oneself or one’s capabilities. It can come up in all areas of life, causing people to doubt their abilities at work or school, compare themselves to others, and constantly seek reassurance from others. People with self-doubt may not like themselves or have a hard time accepting compliments, seeing their positive attributes or feeling pride in their accomplishments.

Self-doubt can be occasional, but for some, it’s chronic. Creating an exhausting, constant inner narrative of worry and negative self-talk.

Self-Doubt and Anxiety

Self-doubt and anxiety often fuel each other, creating a challenging cycle. The two are closely linked, both self-doubt and anxiety make people doubt their ability to handle challenges, deal with adversity or cope with uncertainty. They make people doubt their choices from the past or agonize over making the “right” choice in the future.

But What If My Doubts Could Actually Be True?

The origins of your doubts and anxiety may be based in real possibility. Maybe there was a time in your life where you really did make the wrong choice, and the consequences that followed were really hard. Or perhaps you’ve heard stories of things going terribly wrong for others, and now you worry that the same could happen to you. 

Unfortunately these anecdotes of “possibility” inform your anxiety, and anxiety takes the possibility and runs with it as if it is a reality or a sure thing, rather than what it really is, just one of many possibilities.

The anxiety and fear of these possibilities then turn to the self, causing you to question if YOU are capable of avoiding or handling these possibilities.

Treating anxiety involves questioning the possibility and expanding your thinking to consider alternative, or even more positive possibilities. It also asks you to look for evidence that you could actually handle these possibilities. The antidote to self-doubt is self-trust.

What Builds Self-Trust?

Self-doubt is rooted in the stories we tell ourselves. If you doubt yourself the story you are telling yourself might be something like “I’m not a strong person”, “I’m not good enough”, or “I make mistakes and then I can’t get out of them”.

Building self-trust and truly knowing yourself crushes self-doubt. Why? Because you’re changing the story you tell yourself. These stories are re-framed to reflect reality and resilience.

“I am capable and I can ask for help if I need support”

“I know my values, and I know I can trust myself to make the right decisions”

“I can deal with life’s challenges. Even though it wasn’t fun, I’ve handled challenges in the past” 

“When I make a mistake, I usually figure out how to fix it, and learn something from my mistake”

Therapeutic Modalities for Self-Doubt

What if you could successfully challenge these self-defeating thoughts and be able to recognize a thought as fear-based rather than reality-based? This is the basis of the treatment models commonly used for anxiety and self-doubt. Common evidence-based treatment models include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).

CBT is a modality that is proven to be effective for treating anxiety. It works by teaching you how to put anxious thoughts “on trial”, and search for hard evidence that the doubt or fear is true and/or a reality, rather than just a possibility. 

CBT also explores your beliefs about yourself and the world and asks you to build evidence to create better, more empowering core beliefs. 

ACT is a modality that focuses on living a life that is aligned with your personal values. This treatment involves reflecting on your own values, and then creating goals that reflect those values. ACT asks you to accept the things you cannot control and and take committed action towards the things you can control. 

For doubts that are causing more obsessive or compulsive behaviors, ERP or I-CBT can also be immensely helpful.

Know Yourself

The key to trusting yourself? Knowing yourself and what you stand for. Confident people are not people who think they are the “best” at everything. Confident people know their strengths and limitations, and accept both without harsh self-judgment. You are allowed to be imperfect. If you want to explore yourself on a deeper level, therapy can provide a safe space that allows you to truly know and understand yourself and your values.

As a therapist, I specialize in helping people break free from the cycles of anxiety and self doubt using the modalities and tools mentioned above. If you’re curious about starting therapy, check out my about page or reach out through my contact form.